7 Ways to Prepare for Your Husband (That Go Beyond Just Praying for One!)

Written by Katherine Stohlman

July 5, 2021

When the Villains are Beautiful

I get it!

As you inch further along in age, more and more of your friends get happily married. It’s easy to get impatient, desperate, or cynical.

It’s easy to let the desire for a spouse and children dominate your prayers.

But what else can you DO?

Here’s seven ways to get ready for a husband that don’t just involve begging God for one (no shame).


1. Pray for your husband  

What?! Didn’t you just say this list goes beyond prayers to meet your future spouse?


But of course you’re still going to pray for him. Don’t just pray to meet him, however. Pray that wherever he is right now, God is taking care of him. The mysterious “future husband” will become less of an idea, and more of an actual, imperfect, flesh-and-blood person that God has on his own path in life.  He could probably use your prayers. So start being his teammate right now.

2. Follow God’s Calls in Your Life

We might be tempted to make vague plans and then dither—I could buy my own house, but what if I get married soon and we move? I could relocate for this awesome job, but what if the man I’m supposed to marry isn’t there? I could get bangs, but what if I end up meeting my future husband and he hates bangs?

The more we follow what God is asking of us as single women, the better our sense of ourselves as individuals becomes, and the more likely we are to attract men we’re truly compatible with. Think about it; let’s say you grew up in the northeast but you’ve always liked the idea of living in the Pacific Northwest. Go for it—you’ll have an adventure and then maybe meet a man who loves the mountains and rainforests as much as you do!

3. Don’t Panic-Discern Religious Life

It’s possible to assume you’re called to marriage, yet one day begin to desire to explore a religious vocation. This is good and healthy.  It’s important to truly discern your vocation, since it is part of your path to sainthood. 

Religious vocations are extraordinary callings— a call to begin your Heaven united to Christ here on earth. 

However, sometimes we panic instead of discern. Just because you’re not married or engaged by the age you anticipated, doesn’t necessarily mean you’re supposed to be a nun. It doesn’t mean you are being wildly selfish.

Give vocations their due and don’t freak out. God wants to take care of your heart.  Let Him be in control– not you. 

4. Don’t Force a Relationship

We’ve probably all been there…you go on a few dates with a nice Catholic guy, but you aren’t feeling it. Maybe there’s no attraction developing, your value system doesn’t coincide, or your personalities clash. Essentially, deep down you know this isn’t “it.” But then you imagine your friends and family scrutinizing you and wondering “what are you waiting for?! He’s nice and he’s Catholic, what else do you want?”

 You start to rationalize. “Do I really need to find him handsome? Do I need to be excited to see him? Do I care for him?” 

When in doubt, ask Christ to reveal to you if you have any fears holding you back from being with Mr. Right.

 BUT if you’re praying and being honest with yourself and you just aren’t into him… listen to your gut. Marriage is for life, and even if he’s perfect and he’s mad about you, he deserves a woman who will delight in him. Dragging someone along just to have a relationship is not loving and no foundation for marriage. 

And you know what? You deserve to marry someone you love too.

5. Make an Act of Hope

Not just in prayer, but in your actions.  Show God that you trust He’ll bring you a spouse in His time. It could be something big, like starting a savings account to use for a future wedding or home, something romantic, like creating a hope chest, or something simple, like buying a book about marriage to present to your future husband once you’re engaged. Even if that day never comes, you’ve made solid investments and cultivated your mind and heart.

 And since that day probably will come, you can show your husband how happily you prepared for him.

6. Meditate on Heaven

We should do this anyway, for so many reasons—first and foremost because, in my experience, this sort of meditation seriously orders my priorities. It begs the question, “what is this in light of eternity?”

In marriage, we still must strive to maintain a holy detachment. Married couples are united as one, but they’re still individuals, with their own relationships with Our Heavenly Father. Meditating on the eternity can help ground you once you’re married, remembering that even this sacrament your road to Heaven.  And if that earthly wedding day has yet to come, pondering our endless wedding day in union with Christ puts that into perspective.

7. Breathe.

Love the people in front of you (including yourself).  St. Francis de Sales tells us that we learn to love by loving, and it’s true that living charitably now will help you be a more virtuous wife later. 

But it’s not just about that. It can be easy to think that we’re still single because there’s something wrong with us, that we’re not ready, that if we frantically conquer our faults God will reward us with a vocation.

 But it’s not the case. 

We’re absolutely in God’s hands, on His time. The more we can open ourselves to His love now, the better off we’ll be, no matter what our state in life is.

Related Articles

Overcoming the Empowerment Delusion

Overcoming the Empowerment Delusion

An understanding of the female body leads one to the truth that women are designed to be mothers. Through the body a spiritual mystery is clearly hinted at.

Our bodily blueprint reveals our maternal and self-giving calling, but that reality is inconvenient.

Are we that afraid of who we are as women and what we are capable of?

Are we afraid to discover that our bodies might actually point to a higher truth?

read more
In Transition

In Transition

I am reminded of how a relationship with another person forces you to face yourself – dating and marriage, particularly. What is revealed isn’t always pretty. And here, once again, a person is shaking me out of my complacency, shattering my illusions about who I am and how this is all supposed to work. My baby is here, inside me, growing and changing and inviting me to change and grow.

read more
Unabashed Joy: Chasing Smiles Even in the Midst of Sorrow

Unabashed Joy: Chasing Smiles Even in the Midst of Sorrow

Do we really believe we are so unworthy of joy? Or that joy is something vapid and phony? It reminds me of Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina, which has one of the most dismal openings I have ever encountered: “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” These words compose one of the most famous introductions in literature. They assume a tone of wisdom and insight. Yet, they could not be more false

read more