3 Ways to Discover Joy in Your Femininity

Written by Ann Burns

January 16, 2022

How to Discover Joy in Your Femininity

1. It’s NOT About What You Do: It’s WHO you ARE

It’s not about what you do, it’s who you are. You are created in God’s image with a preciousness and dignity that can never be stripped away. 

People don’t love each other because based on what the person does, they love in response to a person’s existence. Loving someone is encountering joy at the glorious prospect that YOU are here.  That you exist and that is SO good!

For women, God made it easy for us to figure out who we are.  He stamped the role of womanhood on our souls: we are called to the feminine, maternal, life-giving, and receptor. 

This role is given directly to us by God. 

If you are feeling lost ask yourself: do I believe my identity is bound to my worldly accomplishments?

It’s time to let go.  You are so much more than your job, your achievements, your failures, and all of it combined: you are God’s daughter.  You are a woman.  You are the heart of society and a sustainer of life. 

 That is colossal. 

2. LOVING yourself means finding healing OUTSIDE of yourself

We all need a break sometimes, and that is okay.  It’s important to take time and pause, but as women, we need to remember that when something is amiss in our lives, just “loving it” won’t heal the problem. 

If we are hurting in our femininity or struggling in any aspect of our life, we need to be able to discern when a bubble bath and a good night’s sleep is all we need, or if there is something deeper at hand. 

If we have a deep wound, a night of wine and self-care won’t wash it away.  No amount of face creams and accolades can bring about the healing we so crave: this takes courage.  We need to have the ability to dive into our weakness, and surrender it to Christ, and entrust it to Our Lady. 

When we ache, and need help with loving ourselves the right way, we need to turn to the Beloved. 

In true humility, in true love, our focus is turned outward. Our focus is the Beloved. 

When we turn inward, we fall prey to self-obsession and oftentimes, self-loathing.  

We need to find healing at the Foot of the Cross. 

We are totally dependent upon God.  We need God.  On our own, we are nothing, and we will find ourselves trapped by poisonous thoughts and malcontent. 

God sees our littleness and loves us, knowing that if we give each wound to Him, He can raise us up to true glory. 

God calls us to something higher than ourselves. Let us raise our thoughts Heavenward, for we are called to focus on the Beloved: Christ.

3. Do NOT Be Afraid to Embrace Your Womanhood

Have you seen Mel Gibson’s The Passion?  Do you remember the part when Christ falls and the Blessed Mother rushes out to her Son to comfort him.  Immediately, there is a cut to when Jesus was a little baby boy and fell, and His loving mother ran out to hold His bruised body. 

“I’m here.”  Mary cries out.  Her face openly reveals the pain she feels on behalf of her Son. 

That scene is a weep-fest. So much about motherhood, about womanhood, is encapsulated in those brief, beautiful moments. 

A woman is one who gives of herself, puts behind her selfishness –her needs– for life and for love. Every day she dies to herself for the good of another’s life. 

She holds the bruised bodies of those she loves and whispers, “it’s okay. I’ve got you. I’m here.” 

In her gentleness, a powerful strength surges forth, heals, rejuvenates, and gives life. 

That gentleness of a woman, of a mother, is perhaps one of the strongest things in the world. For that gentleness can look directly at all the pain and hurt of the world and say, “I’m here.” This is little that is more brave or noble as a love like that. 

That is our calling: to be the heart of society. Without a heart, society cannot live. Without your femininity, our society aches. 

In some way, every woman is called to live out a maternal calling, even if she is not a mother.  She is called to love and give of herself. 

That call is so intimate and vulnerable; it would be easy to look at it and call it “weak.”  

Yet, remember, it was Esther, in her humility and tenderness, who swayed the bold king and saved her people.

It was the pure-hearted Joan of Arc who, without killing one individual, led an army of brazen men to victory.

And it is our Blessed Mother, who is all goodness and purity, who will crush Satan’s head. 

A woman.  Our gentle Mother. 

You too are called save, heal, and restore. 

But women hold the most power, the most strength, a strength that can conquer and endure the worst pain and loss (think of the Pieta or our Mother of Sorrows) when they love; when they are virtuous; when they submit to their Heavenly Father. 

We place emphasis on our worldly accomplishments and forget the immense beauty of a woman, of a family, and that when all comes to pass, those wordly accomplishments will go away.  Those worldly accomplishments are meant to serve a family, not exist as an end in and of themselves. 

When everything comes to pass, the pure, selfless love of a mother, of a woman, will endure.   

It is not easy to stand so radically against society.  Be armed with love. Everyday, ask Mary to help you. 

Dearest Mother, I ask your guidance in all that I do. Help me to be the woman I am called to be.  I pray that like you, I always respond to God’s calling with the words: ‘Be it done unto me.” I pray to reflect you in all that I do, knowing that in doing so, I will reflect Christ, my King. Help me surrender my heart to Him.  I entrust all that I do and all of my struggles to you, dear Mother, confidently knowing that you are my Mother and you watch over me everyday. Amen.

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